What’s up, you beautiful pervert?! I’ve got something a little interesting today… Although, I’m not really sure how much you’ll like it. We’re still in the world of celebrities! And hey… I promise… We’ll get to the ones everyone really wants to know about!
If you’ve been keeping up with any of these blogs, I’m sure you’ve been thinking, “When the fuck are you gonna talk about a celebrity someone actually cares about?!” Well, for starters… If you ask me… A LOT of these girls are worth our undivided attention.
The only reason you haven’t heard of some of the Hollywood stars I’ve mentioned so far is because they only want a little bit of attention… At least compared to the Natalie Portmans and Emma Stones of the world.
If they wanted to be A-list celebrities badly enough to suck a cock or two, believe me, you would have heard of them! Secondly… You can’t just start with the biggest hits… You’ve gotta work your way up with things like this… Just stick around and I promise I’ll give you the low-down on all the sexiest secrets surrounding Zoe Saldana.
For now, we’re appreciating some of the most underappreciated talents in Hollywood. And we’re going back to the 90s to do it! That’s right! Back when being famous actually mattered! Back then, you really had to earn your fame. People actually wanted it. Nowadays, you could get famous by fucking accident.
Some girl could probably flash her pussy on Twitch and be famous for at least a few days. And if she’s smart enough, she could turn that into an entire fucking career! ZERO talent required! If you were in the entertainment business back in the 80s/90s, you not only had to be talented… You had to be drop-dead gorgeous, and constantly in the right place, at the right time.
Today, we’re diving into the world of the graceful and beautiful Kelly Lynch. Yeah… I know. This might be the first time you’ve heard of her… If this isn’t the first time you’re hearing of her… Congratulations, you’re fucking old! Haha! But at least you know that the stars back in the day had a little more of an edge to them.
Back then, when you were gorgeous, it wasn’t because of some beauty regime or flattering cameras or some shady Turkish doctor. You were gorgeous because you were fucking gorgeous! When Stevie Nicks (Fleetwood Mac’s unforgettable star) was on stage, that was really fucking her! Not her make-up team!
Anyway, Kelly Lynch made was a breakout star in the late 80s after her role in the movie, Cocktail. If you haven’t seen it, don’t fucking bother… This is all you need to know. It. Fucking. Sucks. It sucked spectacularly! It sucked so bad, it became a box-office hit!
It was one of those movies that was so bad that it was good! It was so bad, it basically jumpstarted Tom Cruise’s career! It even won an award as one of the worst movies of all time! Haha! After that movie, the following year Kelly co-starred in the movie, Road House.
If you’ve never seen it, you’ve probably heard it referenced somewhere — Like Family Guy. Eventually, even they had to realize that their audience was getting too young for their jokes. It shouldn’t even matter. Kelly Lynch in Road House was fucking great. She had a kind of biting attractiveness that guys would remember for years!
Kelly Lynch wasn’t exactly the belle of the ball. I mean, people knew her (Mostly from Road House), but I wouldn’t call her a household name. She was in a bunch of other films after that: Curly Sue, Imaginary Crimes, Mr. Magoo, Charlie's Angels...
Those names probably mean nothing to you… And they shouldn’t really… They weren’t exactly the greatest films ever. Charlie’s Angels got mixed reviews, but I thought it was pretty kickass! Who wouldn’t wanna watch three hot detectives for an hour?? Was that no one’s fantasy?
There’s not really much to say about either Kelly’s professional or personal life. She’s one of the stars who figured out early that doing the jobs is all she needs to do. Apparently, she’s been pretty selective about her roles for a long time…
You’d have thought she was a super high-profile A-lister with how many gigs she turned down. Despite not being one of the biggest names in the industry, she’s had a pretty steady career. She remained one of the “hot blondes” everyone saw in the classic American movies.
Her last significant role was in the 2018 series, Mr. Mercedes... I don’t know anything about it though. I didn’t see it. Netflix-exclusive shows are too hit-or-miss for me. If a show on Netflix is good, I’ll just wait until I hear about it.
Her latest movie appearance was On the Rocks, which was released last year (2023). Unless you’re somehow the biggest Kelly Lynch fan, I wouldn’t bother with it… She isn’t even in the main cast and the movie is just whatever.
But Kelly’s kind of unimpressive later career doesn’t take away from the fact that, at one point, she was one of the faces of America!
Online Presence
I know what you’re expecting… And it’s exactly what you’re expecting… Kelly Lynch is WELL into her Boomer years… You’re not exactly gonna find her linktr.ee page. She barely counts as a celebrity at this point. She does the bare minimum for her fans to know that she’s alive.
Instagram: You can find Kelly here at @kellylynchofficial. She’s currently got 20k followers, which is less than girls with OnlyFans! Who would have imagined that the main star of one of America’s classic movies would be less popular than a girl who pops her pussy online for money!?
What a fucking time to be alive! Unsurprisingly, won’t exactly be looking into Kelly Lynch’s personal life. You can expect pictures of dogs, quotes from celebrities, pictures of famous people, and pictures of her family. That’s about it.
Her latest post was a picture of her and her daughter in some pretty nature-colored dresses on a mountain range. She was celebrating her daughter’s birthday. But if you had no idea who was who, you’d have a hard time telling who was the daughter!
Kelly Lynch at 65 still looks fucking stunning! And you know what? Call me naive… But I bet she’s never gone to see a shady Turkish doctor! I’m sure that’s 100% natural!
Anyway, I wouldn’t be expecting a post from her any time soon. Her last post was about 4 months ago. There are about 380 boring posts for you to enjoy before you realize that Kelly’s celebrity days are well behind her.
Hot Facts About Kelly Lynch
● Star sign: Aquarius
● Kelly’s best friend is [the much more famous] Sheryl Crow
● She might not be an A-list name, but she was nominated for two movie awards (Independent Spirit Awards) back in the day
● Kelly’s had a pretty tame and private sex life with only one baby daddy. Despite already having a kid before the relationship, Kelly’s been married to producer Mitch Glazer since 1992!
Spicy Content
If you’ve already seen Road House, then that’s probably the first thing that’ll pop into your head. If you haven't, then that's the first thing I’d suggest! That sex scene was fucking legendary!
You know… Apparently, Bill Murray (From Ghostbusters… You’re probably too young to know who the fuck that is, haha!) will call Mitch Glazer every time he sees Patrick Swayze banging Kelly Lynch in that scene! Just how many times has he watched that scene?! Haha!
As reserved as Kelly Lynch is, it isn’t hard to find some shots of her naked. Her scene in Road House wasn’t her only sex scene. Check out her scene in Warm Summer Rain — That’d satisfy any Kelly Lynch fan.
She’s also got some pretty hot scenes in “Desperate Hours”, “Homegrown”, “Cold Around the Heart”... Like I said… Kelly was one of the “hot blondes” everyone saw in American movies… Those directors weren’t gonna let that go to waste!
I’ve gotta say though… Her tits were not exactly money-makers. I’ve seen better tits on girls who aren’t even hot. I don’t wanna dig into her too much, but… Man, they left a lot to be desired.
Things We Find Hot About Kelly Lynch
● Kelly was one of the faces of American movies in the 90s
● Her sex scenes were fucking great!
● She had quite a few sex scenes!
Conclusion
Kelly Lynch played it straight her entire career! She didn’t take any shortcuts and she stayed well away from any of the Hollywood drama.
You can barely find a collection of photos of her in bikinis! But that doesn’t mean she was never willing to do what she needed to get the job done!
You can enjoy Kelly in all of her glory like everyone did back in the 90s. You could make a small compilation with those steamy scenes. You’d better savor it though. That’s all you’ll ever get! I’d start with Road House!
